I am done with college. I have spent 4 years studying for 2 degrees. I have spent 4 years singing songs over people, and dancing over fields. What a journey it has been.
I have learned about freedom. I've learned that true freedom in your spirit only comes from the spirit of freedom. Whoever holds the spirit of freedom can set you free. Truly free. Freedom can look like dancing in fields, running in mud, singing songs of hope. But true freedom feels quite different. You can do those and be free, but you can do those things and not be free too. I spent a lot of time doing those things with my spirit in chains. And I spent a good amount of time doing those things with my spirit free. It was a whole different ball game. True freedom is when the soul only relies on the one thing it needs. True freedom is when the spirit is flying, and is clean. True freedom is when the mind has clarity beyond clarities. It's when you can jump into the heavens without anything or anyone teaching you how or showing you the way. Only the spirit of freedom. Only one holds the spirit of freedom and the keys to unlocking it in a soul. Who the Son sets free really is free indeed.
I've learned about the secret place. I've learned that what we talk about alone in our rooms is really what counts. I've learned that what we "wish" over people from that place is what counts. When we choose to bless instead of curse and no one knows. What our hearts dream about in the depths-only One person sees that and understands it better than ourselves. When I danced in my room, the heavens saw and shifted things over that land because someone on that land was dancing for love-for the Lover. As His daughter, I have authority in the spirit realm. Things shift, change, and move at the sound of my voice, by the look of my eyes, and the whisper of my heart. What's done in secret really will be rewarded in open. He really does see every cry, every heart movement. And most importantly He sees the choices we make. When we say 'no' and lay aside desires, dreams, and love to go after the one thing we need to breathe. The eyes of the Lord really do run to and fro throughout the whole earth to find hearts longing for Him. Hearts that need, want, desire, and call to Him. He sees, He answers, and He moves. And oh how he deeply, deeply loves. He knows where we've walked, and yet He still kneels down to wash our feet.
I've learned that He's my Daddy. And He is happy. God is happy. He's not mad, He's not sad, not far off, or disappointed. We're not a disappointment to God. My Daddy is happy, and my Daddy loves me. Daddy wants me to barge into His room, interrupt everything He's doing and tell Him all about my day and ask Him things. It's His delight. It's who He is. Daddy. I've learned that He really is moved by us. He doesn't expect perfection, He expects us to come in our weak and broken state. My 8 mastered chords filled with adoration ravish the heart of the Almighty God. That He loves and know us individually, and also loves us so much as His corporate Bride though we are such a diverse group. I've heard Him yell, "Father! Did you see that glance she just gave me?!" He laughs, He sings, and oh man, ask to see Him dance! I've never seen anyone dance like Him!!
I've learned about identity. How isn't not in what you do, what you feel, who you're attracted to that makes you. You're identity is in who you are. What you do, feel, and like all change based upon the way the wind blows. But who you are-who you are created to be-never changes. Identity comes from the creator. The artistic creator gives identity to his masterpiece. That identity never changes for it comes from the creator. Everyone has their say in what they think it is, but the creator gets the ultimate defining word. The Creator has the defining word over us. You are loved. You are a daughter. You are a son. You have a family. You're not an orphan. You're not a disappointment. You're not too far. You are loved. That's the defining last word. You are loved. By God. And you are allowed to be you. You are needed to be you. Jesus didn't come to help me figure out who I was-He came to tell me who He knew I was all along. "I love you. You don't need to figure anything else out. That's all you need to know-you're loved."
The last and final song I sang over was "One Thirst" by Bethel Live. It's my prayer for that land, that campus, those precious people I love:
"…We're here to drink of glory and wonder. Here to cry out 'come and fill this place, come and fill this place.' Our single wish, our sole desire is to gaze upon your beauty God. We will not rest nor will we cease till with our eyes, your face we see…We wait for you to come and show your glory, here today…We wait for you! Hallelujah come! Hallelujah come! Come oh King, come and rest."
May the King find a resting place in that land, in that campus, and in the hearts of the ones I love.
Now-on to new places, new lands, new people, and new lessons…
"Then sings my soul, my Savior God to Thee-How great Thou art."