Tuesday, November 23, 2010


For my Mental Health paper, I had to write about some theories and spiritual aspects of my life that have been impacted by this course. Here are little tid-bits of my paper that share what has been on my heart lately.


I have been on a journey of love this semester. Learning how to love people who have hurt me, and learning how to love those I desire to love well. Most of all, it has been a journey of loving myself and loving God for who He created me to be. Without loving Him, I cannot love myself because I do not understand myself. If I do not love myself, I find it hard to love the One who created me. If I don't love myself, I do not know love. I cannot love other people if I don't know what love is. I am learning how I am loved by God, in all of my flaws and all of my greatness. I growing in my love for myself and my love for God, I am gaining and learning what love truly is. The only way I can other's love is from the overflow of a sincere heart in love. It takes love to love. It takes receiving love to give love...

I have many goals in my life. I am a "dreamer". I have a long list of nations, cities, towns, villages, people, careers, and actions written on my heart. I can do all of them! There is not a dream in my heart that cannot come true. I feel like my purpose in this life is to know love, and love well in return. The ultimate goal in my life is to go whatever places, and do whatever things I can do to learn more about love, and to love more. If this means moving to Africa and dancing in the dirt for three months, I will go. If this means getting married and having children at a young age, I will do it. I just want to love and love well....

I have learned that I have a heart that desires to live a life that excels in love. I want to love Jesus well; I want to love myself in my fullness. I want to be the greatest friend that I can be. I want to be an wonderful wife, and a fun mom,-and in all the stages leading up to those things I want to be the fullness of what I can be. I want to be an excellent lover and servant to people everywhere. I want to travel, I want to be alive in my mind, body and spirit every day of my life. All of my dreams, desires and secret journal entries come down to being excellent in love. 1 Corinthians 13:1-2 says "If I have not love, I have become sounding brass or a clanging cymbal…If I can understand all mysteries and have all knowledge…but have not love, I am nothing." As I have grown on my spiritual journey, I have come to fully agree with these statements. I can do anything I want to do, but if I do not carry out things with a heart filled in sincere, devoted love-then everything I have done will fade away. Any words I say, acts I do, things I accomplish will not stand or be substance if they are not done in sincere love. Anyone can do great things. But only really great people learn to love.

I have been reminded to lay aside anxiety and take up the things that are my portion: to receive love, and give love. I am made for love. We all are created so individually. No two people can love exactly the same way. No two people have the same love to give, and to receive. No one can love like I can because I am created uniquely....


I have been thinking about love so much lately. These paragraphs sum up what I've been talking with the Lord about and thinking about. With life post-college getting closer and closer, I have begun to think about what I really want to do and where I really want to go. I have my long list of Africa, India, Spain, get married, play piano, lead worship, be a full-time Intercessor....but everything on this list comes down to love. The root of the reasons why I want to go to those places is because I want to go there to learn love. I want to get married to learn love. I want to be a full-time Intercessor to learn love.

God is love. Everything I want to do is because I want to know Him more. I want to love Him with all my heart, soul, mind and strength. I want to love others because I sincerely love them, just like I sincerely love Him.

So, where will I learn love? Where will my heart become so cultivated and transformed by love that my heart operates in love at a level that is the fullest it can operate?

I am figuring out the answer...and I think I know the answer...You'll just have to wait and see...


1 comment:

dana said...

Well, don't you sound like Mikey B?? ;)

I felt a laura hackett chorus in there somewhere too!

Haha I love the influence and your heart! Of course the answer is in knowing Him ;) and receiving it from Him! But of course let the reader truly understand! haha LOVE YOU!