Tuesday, February 3, 2009

Whatever this feels like...it feels like Joy.*

As I sit here listening to quite the Soul Stirring Montage, lots of thoughts are running through my head....lots and lots.

I am so happy to be back here.  The first few days were really rough.  I lost sight of everything I wrote in my last blog and I just became so self-centered and prideful.  Caring about what everyone else thought and trying to make them see the real me...but I can't make people see the real me and see my heart...I can only BE me.

After lots of friend advice and lots of time getting my mind back in focus...I am so good. So good. and so happy to be here.  

I am seeing prayers and requests being answered left and right.  I had the feeling coming back here that something was going to shake the ground in the lives of me and my friends.  I'm not sure what exactly is happening but I know I am being shaken...Shaken loose.**

I am jealous for the Lord. So jealous. The Lord is jealous for us-for all of us-He yearns for every part of us...the way He has been loving me has made me fall deeply in love with Him.  The way He reveals himself to me...Mmm. "Seek me and you will find me when you seek me with your whole heart".  Holding Him to his promises and trusting and putting faith in the person behind the promise and not the promise itself is the key.  

I don't have faith in His promises. 
I have faith in Him and who He is and His character. 
 I know Him. He keeps His promises.  
There is nothing I have to question about that.  

My heart hurt so much the past few weeks.  Memories of a year ago. I don't regret anything.  A good friend came to me asking for my help about her relationship.  I was able to help her beyond anything I thought I knew.  I was so happy to see that I had learned so much.  From being in that relationship and from not being in it....so happy. No regrets at all.  My heart doesn't hurt anymore...at all. I have this overabundance of joy...it makes me skip on my way to class and sing and just laugh and get SO stirred up with one of my closest friends when we talk about our passions as we live life in this crazy world...

I prayed all summer for a core group of friends.  Friends to go through life with.  To stand side by side and dream, and just love.  Well, I have them...and oh that feels so good.  Two of the girls got the same vision that I had and the three of us now "run" together...holding each other's hands, looking up to the One we love, having fun, and just being there.  And then there's these other people...Oh my. How I love you guys...so much.  I thank the Lord for answering my prayer and letting our paths cross now...because He knows that I wanted this and love this...so much.  The Lord is my closest friend.  Friends tell secrets...He told me that we aren't just passing friends.  We are real friends...=D

So many other things going on, being revealed, etc that one day you'll hear about....

No matter what happens or what life throws at me...My declaration is that I am the Lords and His alone.  I am ready to do what I was created to do.  I was created to love Him.  I was created to be loved by Him.  He is SO REAL.  So loving....MMMmmm. 

"I've made my vows, no turning around. 
I've burned the bridges they can't be found...
but I am Yours.  no Matter what.  
Whatever it looks like, Whatever it feels like-I'm Yours..."
-misty edwards

Whatever it feels like.***

dream. search. hope. love. look up...


The Lawless Lyricist said...

This Blog Is Beautiful! :)
I hope that you feel better!
I'm glad you are enjoying the Soul Stirring Montage...I'm still trying to find my corner in the sky.

You inspire me to write another blog, I don't know what about yet...but thank you :)

Steve said...

Im a big fan of Misty Edwards lyrics they are very moving, and are a huge comfort to me when i am feeling down. Nice blog, good luck with everything, you should take comfort with your own inspiration of others.