Saturday, June 25, 2011

The month I dreaded-over and it was lovely.

I've been home for a month and a half. I only miss college when thinking upon all the secret hiding places or the sweet friends. I have made "bank"-and given more than half of it away to friends. I've touched the lives of children day after day. I have held hands, I have disciplined, I have hugged, I have wiped tears-and every time they looked into my eyes I know they saw Jesus.

During this month I have felt Him move to the point where I know that I am just a vessel. Nothing but a container for Him to move through. Nothing but an arena for the Spirit to take control. Nothing but a resting place. The Spirit took over my eyes and gave a hope and a future to a lovely 8 year old girl. To a 9 year old boy they gave confidence. They gave a feeling of 'Sonship'. They told him that being a bully and involved in gang efforts in the city wasn't where his alliance belonged. To a 6 year old girl they told her that she was beautiful when the boys laughed at her "fat belly". To a 8 year old girl, after she was molested, they said You are prized.

To me, I know that as I loved, as I obeyed and tried to do my best working an everyday job--I know He was ravished and moved by my love. As I stood in that wedding, I know He was moved by my faithfulness and my wishes to an old friend. As I sat on the couch with my family, I know He was moved by my desire to love them well. As I sat in the music room, I know He was moved by the songs I produced. As I danced in the cellar, as I laid in my bed, as I dreamed and as I rested-I know He was ravished.

So I'm off on Independence Day (how prophetic! ;] ) to Kansas City, heading back to IHOP. Sitting in the NightWatch is the only thing that makes any sense to my heart. And as I go I feel a new wave coming. It's a wave I've learned a lot about the past year. A wave I thought I obtained and thought I understood. But the rush of it's waters are so very different that what I thought. The wave looks like Him. It feels like Him-and it feels like 'me'.

His voice rides upon the sound of these waters.
The wave of freedom, of no longer waiting is coming to my soul.

"The voice of the Lord is over the waters; the God of glory thunders…

He makes them also skip like a calf."-Psalm 29:3,5

"But for you who revere my name, the sun of righteousness will rise with healing in its wings. And you will go out and leap like calves released from the stall."-Malachi 4:2

Restless-Caleb Andrews
Broken I desire to fall upon You. To rest here in Your arms. To be with You where You are.
Jesus, my friend-I love You. Jesus, my friend-I love You.
I will be satisfied when I awaken in Your likeness for eternity.
But till I see Your eyes, I will abide within the vine that upholds all my dreams-in You.
Sustain me. Come to me as I live for You.

1 comment:

. said...

sustain me. those are words from a heart who knows what it is like to be in love with God.