Here it is folks! My debrief on my 3 months spent in Kansas City, MO interning at the International House of Prayer.
As I began to type this post, I found myself deleting everything I typed...the tenderness that my heart has for this past season is like none other. The Lord brought me out of 3 years of pain, hurt, misunderstandings, confusion, and just plain sadness. But in those 3 years He kept telling me about a time where I wouldn't even remember the sadness because life would be so filled with joy. A time where my heart wouldn't ache with pain, but would ache with utter happiness. A time where I would sing a new song-where songs I sang in faith would be lyrics to songs about what I see happening in my life. Jan-March He restored my soul, and continuing into now He is restoring my life. He spoke of a time where I would be built up again-"better than before". He spoke of times where He said my heart would dance again. Where I would laugh.
The past 3-almost 4-months, I have been living this! I can't help but get overwhelmed by my life. I couldn't have changed these situations and relationships. I tried, and I couldn't. Only He could, can, and did! I am so happy. Joyful-yes, I've been joyful over all 3 years. Joy isn't something that is laughter, and jumping. It's something much deeper-a peace, a security, a stillness. I've got the Joy, had the Joy, feel the Joy, love the Joy....but I am happy. I am content. I am oh so satisfied!
My heart is just too in love with all the personal things the Lord did and told me so I honestly can't post them. It's just a treasure between us. =] But I can tell you one thing...He was right. He was right all along. He knew all along. Those days I'd literally run away to escape everything and found Him running beside me whispering those words to me...He was right. He is THE faithful witness. He does not lie.
Some good tid-bits from classes:
-Don't shut the door on something just because it doesn't make sense-controversy doesn't mean that something is not of the Lord. The darkness just hates the light.
-We are the most aimless generation, yet we have the most direction in the Bible for our time.
-The honor we have as Sons and Bride brings so much responsibility. There is a glory but a weight of responsibility that comes with a family name.
-The opposite of anxiety is prayer.
-Prayer is not the means to an end-it is the end. It is the treasure! It's not your hopping stone on to bigger and better things-it is the end. It is where Life is. It is where we're all headed-it's not a tool in your belt. It's your clothing.
-It is safer with Him facing your fears, than without Him in comfort. (song of songs 2:8-17)
-He knows the difference between rebellion and immaturity, sincere and insincere. He doesn't care about maturity-He cares about sincerity of your heart and says 'i can work with this!'
-It's not sin to wrestle with God-the "deciding" factor is where your feet land-in sin or in His arms...He's a daddy, He loves to wrestle!
-He loves not because we say yes, and not because we're 'good', but because it IS Him.
-Your inner man grows like your natural body grows. Take the time to put fuel into the car instead of pushing it.
-Speaking the truth in love doesn't mean "Hey, i love you but-" it means bringing truth forth in patience, and kindness while hoping and believing all things.
-Those who have not pondered God, have not pondered reality.
-The human heart was created to know that we are enjoyed and liked by God. The enemy wants to confuse us because if we buy it, we will settle for second best and not pursue Him. If you feel you will get rejected you will run from that relationship. It's the same with the Lord. But He doesn't reject you. He actually likes you.
-Jesus didn't come to help me find who I am-He came to tell me who He knew I was!
-Jesus is coming back to earth. soon. He isn't coming back for revenge, although at times it may look that way. He is coming back to set things right for those who have been wronged and to give glory to the Father.
-He is a God of vengence, not vindictive! He is using the least severe means possible, to bring the greatest number of people to the deepest level of intimacy without violating anyones free will.